Will somebody read my poem (pastiche) and tell me what you think and how to do a commentary on it?

It's for AS eng lit and lang, and basically i don't have any sheets on how to write a commentery so does anyone have any straight to the point tips? Thank you





Some people have a childhood garden


Filled with green and growing things


Some people have a childhood garden


Filled with purple peonies


Mine is sere


Throughout the year


Nothing grows here





Some people have a childhood rainbow


A sea of colors all aglow


Some people have a childhood rainbow


Red to violet in a row


Mine is gray


Bow of clay


Without a ray





Some people have a childhood temple


Covered with a million treasured dreams


Some people have a childhood temple


A sunny Wat of Gods and kings


Mine is plain


Squats in the rain


Functional 'n sane





Where childhood memories abound


Life flows vividly around


Where childhood memories have fled


Hearts lie dead





Tim Bovee -


one at bottom is mine





Some people have a childhood home


Warm, soft and yielding


Some people have a childhood home


Peaceful, joyful and healing


Mines at war


Forever more


Behind a closed door





Some people have a childhood spirit


Boundlessly open and carefree


Some people have a childhood spirit


Everything that child wants to be


Mine is undone


The haunted one


Crazy as the sun





Some people have childhood memories


That they lovingly hold dear


Some people have childhood memories


Filled with tenderness and freedom from fear


Mine break my heart


Rip my sanity apart


Artists sick art





One plays games, one plays tricks


One pushes, one picks


So wrapped up they forget


The childs heavy heart in a cold sweat

Will somebody read my poem (pastiche) and tell me what you think and how to do a commentary on it?
that is real good u should tell some people about it so they can put dat in a book

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